


exhale your failures (you’ll see them in the morning)

by AceMoppet



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Betrayal, Crowley Needs a Hug (Good Omens), F/F, Gen, Human Crowley (Good Omens), Seemingly unrequited love, Suicide mention, it be like that, sometimes your friend/crush is a mean girl and you gotta cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22992877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceMoppet/pseuds/AceMoppet
Summary: God, what did she even expect? Azi was good and sweet, like cotton candy. But she, Crowley, knew better than anyone that cotton candy shriveled up at the first sign of water, and Middle Ground High was a fucking deluge.AKA: What happens after Crowley drives away in Chapter 8
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & Her Mom
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	exhale your failures (you’ll see them in the morning)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IneffableAlien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IneffableAlien/gifts).
  * Inspired by ["So Fetch" Omens](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22784470) by [IneffableAlien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IneffableAlien/pseuds/IneffableAlien). 



> First off, thank you so much to IneffableAlien for letting me post this! This was inspired by her ‘Fetch Omens’ fanfic, a Mean Girls AU with Azi (Aziraphale) as Cady Heron and Crowley as Janis Ian. It’s a wonderful fic, and everyone should go check it out when they can!
> 
> This fic starts off from where Chapter 8 leaves us, but in Crowley’s point of view. There is explicit mention of a past Suicide attempt, so please take note of that. It’s not graphic, but it is there. If you don’t want to read it, the line starts with “It’s not nothing!”, and you can resume at the first “you gave away my snake.” 
> 
> If you like it, please leave a comment or a kudos. And go check out ‘Fetch Omens’!

Well. That was a thing.

Crowley drives like the speed demon she is- no, she drives like the speed demon she wishes she was. Maybe at least then she could speed away from all of this: from Middle Ground High, from the stupid rumors, from her own goddamned  _ feelings- _

No, don’t think about that. It’s done, it’s over, and it never should have existed in the first place.

God, what did she even expect? Azi was good and sweet, like cotton candy. But she, Crowley, knew better than anyone that cotton candy shriveled up at the first sign of water, and Middle Ground High was a fucking  _ deluge _ .

She’s not making any sense, but then again, neither is this night.

At least Astor was there. Sure, he’d had to leave early, but at least he’d been  _ there.  _

Not like a certain someone she’d dedicated the piece to.

Speaking of, she should probably get that back at one point- if she’s going to get out of this hellhole, she’d need it for her portfolio.

She turns into the driveway, parks, and takes off her glasses. She placed her head on the steering wheel, just for a second, just to breathe.

She doesn’t really expect to start crying, but then again, she isn’t really surprised by it.

_ Fuck,  _ she thinks, watching snot and mascara-colored tears cover the leather on her steering wheel.  _ Fuck. _

This isn’t really how she wanted her Saturday night to end- in her driveway, bawling her eyes out in- what even? Rejection?

That’s stupid- Azi didn’t reject her. Azi just didn’t even think of her.

“Fuck,” she sobs, hitting the steering wheel. “Fucking- fuck-”

“Toni? Is that you?”

_ Fuck. _

She tries to stifle her sobs, but it’s too late. Her mom’s at the car door, knocking loudly. “Toni, open the door-”

There’s a huge part of Crowley that wants to say  _ fuck that _ and just back out of the driveway then and there. She’ll drive off, never to be seen again. Maybe she’ll drive to the end of the world and never return-

-She can’t do that. She promised Azi she’d call an Uber for her in the morning.

Is she pathetic? Perhaps. Per-fucking-haps.

With a last sniffle, she wipes her nose, puts on her glasses, and opens the door. “Hi mom,” she says, voice gravely and rough.

“Toni, what is going on with you? You didn’t answer your phone all night, and now I come out here and you’re crying in your car- what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” she says, trying to move past her mom. “Sorry for not answering-”

“It’s not nothing!” Her mom whirls, sharp eyes glinting with something frantic. “Toni, I’m  _ worried _ about you! You- you’ve changed so much in the past couple of years, and you tried to- tried to kill yourself-”

“You gave away my snake.”

Her mom stops. “What?”

Crowley grits her teeth. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t even mean much, she doesn’t know why she’s even bringing it up but- “You gave away my snake,” she forces out. 

“I had to!” her mom says, pushing back a strand of curly hair. “Michaela said-”

“Oh ‘ _ Michaela  _ said’, huh?” Her blood pounds in her ears, her palms tingle with the want to form fists. “It  _ all  _ comes back to her. ‘Michaela said’ that I was a fucking Satanist, and you believed her over me.”

“Of course I believed her!” her mom snaps. “You weren’t- you were pulling away from  _ everyone.  _ The church, me, and even your friends-”

“They’re not my friends!” she roars. And oh, she’s snapped now, hasn’t she? Years of holding it all in, turning all the rage into herself, and it’s finally coming out. “They were  _ never  _ my friends!”

She steps forward, spoiling for a fight to sink her teeth into. “Friends don’t spread rumors about each other. They don’t lie to each other, don’t put each other down. They don’t fucking believe they’re better than you and leave you in the dust!”

Distantly, she realizes she might be speaking about Azi. 

She swallows. “They don’t promise to show up at your art show, the one fucking thing you practically had to beg them to show up to, and then go back on that.”

“... Oh Toni.”

She doesn’t expect her mom to pull her into a hug and start crying.

“I’m so sorry, Toni,” she sobs, her grip tightening on Crowley’s hair. “I’m so sorry, baby. Tell me what I can do to make this right.”

Crowley swallows and leans in, her arms coming up to take her mother in her arms. Because the tragedy of it is, there’s nothing she can do, really- all of it’s been done, and nothing can fix it. 

Except, that’s not what she said, was it? She asked what she can do to make this right, not to fix it.

Well, there’s not much that can be done to make the situation right, but Crowley does know what she wants. 

“Give me my snake back,” she says, holding her mom tighter.

Her mom laughs, wet and grieving. “Of course baby,” she says, patting Crowley’s head. “Of course.”

It won’t make the situation right at all, but at least she’ll have a snake.

At least she’ll have another friend.


End file.
